Ten years ago this was my life: I woke up every morning and went to work at my so-so job. Then I would hang out with friends that were mostly okay but kinda sometimes not, then I would go home to my so-so apartment and watch tv, and then I would go to bed and then wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
And sometimes I would look around and ask myself – is this life? Is this really it?
But I was like – no I know this isn’t all there is. I know somehow I’m going to find a job that I really love, and have a family, and fall in love with a guy who is perfect for me, and I just have to wait for – something. Some kind of magic thing that would happen that would transport me from my so-so life to the life full of happiness and love I’m supposed to have.
Is this you? Does this sound familiar? Because if it does, stay with me because I have figured out what the magic thing is.
It took me basically having the walls of my life come crashing down to learn the secret of how to get from the pretty okay life that I was just passing time in to the badass love-filled life I wanted to live.
And because I don’t want you guys to have to go through that, I’m going to share that secret with you…
The magical thing that happens that really isn’t magic at all – it’s you.
Everything you need to go from your okay life that sometimes has happy moments to a big beautiful life that lights you up is in you.
It’s your mindset.
It’s your intentions.
It’s what’s in your heart.
It’s how you look at things;
how you react when bad things happen.
What you envision for your life and how you take action to get there.
You have everything you need to re-imagine your life within you right now. And I want to help you learn to use it.
It is entirely possible for you to start living a life filled with love and peace and joy – and you don’t need a radical change in your circumstances to make it happen. It’s within your grasp right to to centre your life around your values, to be dazzlingly loving and mind-blowingly real.
You can live a life where you don’t wonder anymore whether you’re making the right decision about anything, don’t allow people to pressure you into doing shit you don’t want to do, you don’t swallow your feelings or hold your tongue when people say or do things that hurt your.
You can – and you were born to – live a life of freedom.
So I’m going to give you three tips that you can start doing right now to harness the power of your heart to transform your experience of your life.
Are you ready?
Step one: Know that you are okay.
Right now, exactly as you are. You are okay. No – fuck that, you are better than okay, you’re a fucking masterpiece. Everything you are, everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been through is all by design to create the beautiful gift of YOU. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing you have to change or fix about yourself to earn the life of peace, happiness, and love you wish for.
So the first step is to accept that. No – really accept and believe that you are a magical divine being just as you are, right in this moment. The way you look, the way you react, the feelings you feel – they’re all right and real and valid and you are entitled to them. You need to really believe that and accept that and stop waiting to do something or have something or accomplish something before you give yourself permission to have what you want. You are okay, right now.
Step two: Surrender to a higher power.
Now before you reach for the close button or roll your eyes because this is getting to airy-fairy for you, just listen.
Once you accept that you are a divine being and that everything that has happened in your life was to craft you as a divine gift to the world, you have to accept that there is a higher being doing the crafting, right?
Now whether you want to call that divine being God or the Universe or Buddha or your higher self or my Aunt Sally is up to you, but you must accept that there is divine energy that loves you unconditionally and that is working for your highest good.
And then all you have to do is submit to it. Surrender to it. Accept that the things that happen in your life – the friends you might lose, the jobs you don’t get, the relationships that end – even the bus that you miss when you’re running late for work – are all working for your highest good. And you just have to surrender to it.
Now surrender doesn’t mean that you just throw up your hands and let life happen to you. It doesn’t absolve you of your responsibility to show up for yourself and for others. It just means letting go of the need to control everything. It means you don’t constantly question why why why – why is this happening to me? Why isn’t this happening enough? Why does everyone else have it better than me – why why why? Once you get into the energy of surrender you will accept what happens – or doesn’t happen – gracefully, with the knowledge that everything that happens in life is happening for your highest good.
Step three: Be love.
So now that you know you are a badass divine being with badass divine energy watching over you and leading you to a badass divine life, the next thing you need to do is, well, love.
Have you ever heard the expression that everything we do in life is motivated by fear or by love? It’s true. And so if you want to elevate your life and bring it from so-so to exactly what you want it to be, you need to embody love. Let your heart fill with love so much so that it’s oozing out of every pore. It bursts out of you. It shines like a halo around you. And you know what happens when you embody love so much so that you’re glowing? You attract more love. You attract people in your life who also embody love, and it naturally removes the people in your life who are bringing toxic energy. It transforms the way you interact with people so that your relationships become more loving. You will create an energetic force field of love around yourself that just attracts more and more love.
And how do you “be love”? it’s simple – more compassion, less judgment. Understand that we are all on the same journey and going through the same struggles, so fling compassion like glitter everywhere you go.
That asshole who cut you off in traffic and then gave you the finger? Feel compassion for the fact that he doesn’t have a better outlet for his feelings.
That frenemy who is talking shit behind your back? Feel compassion for the fact that she doesn’t feel able to express her issues to you directly. And then show compassion for yourself by removing her from your life.
Did you yell at your kids today? Fight with your mom? Order pizza for dinner (again) because you didn’t feel like cooking (again)? Show yourself compassion – you’re human. And every moment of your life is an opportunity to choose again.
And as far as judgment goes, there are two things I want you to remember.
The first is this: just as you are a perfect divine being who is a gift to this world, so too is everyone else who walks this planet. Yes, even Donald Trump – although I personally am not yet spiritually evolved enough to see how that is so. And so if we are all divine beings living a divinely guided life, no one is any worse than you – and no one is any better. Stop looking down on people for making choices you wouldn’t make and stop looking up to people – because that is judgment too.
The other thing I want you to remember is this: you are responsible for your thoughts, words, and actions. That’s it. Just yours. What other people say, how they think, and what they do is quite frankly none of your business. Release the need to form judgments or control it because it serves you no higher purpose. Just fling compassion at them and keep it moving.